It's All Coming Back To Me Now
by Satan-wears-prada
Summary: A song one-shot. It's an idea that bugged me fore ages. ADDEK


A/N: Okay, so I'm addicted to Celine Dion at the moment and I msut have spent a whole day listeing to her, and every time I heard this song, I instantly thought of ADDEK and this idea jsut kept popping into my head and bugged me for the whole day. So, when I got home I jsut had to write this fic. It was written late, so I'm not sure if it will all make sense, I have re-read but yeah. Okay, and now I'm ramboling, so just go, read, enjoy and review

* * *

Addison smiled and took a sip of her drink as she sat with Callie and Miranda at Joe's. Nearly the whole staff of Seattle Grace was in the bar that night, it may have had something to so with the fact that drinks were half price and there was karaoke going on. A lot of the younger generation were up singing first. Some were completely drunk already and were dreadful at the singing, completely losing it and breaking out into laughter with their friends.

Addison smiled and remembered a time when she would do that sort of thing, but that was a long time ago now. She sighed and took another sip of her drink.

"Why the sigh?" Callie looked at her friend.

"I used to do things like that when I was younger." She motioned to the people singing karaoke. "I used to be good at karaoke as well." Addison gave a small smile and looked down.

"Really?" Callie raised her eyebrows. "Why don't you do it now? I bet you can still sing as great."

"No, no." Addison shook her head.

"You scared Addison?" Miranda raised her eyebrows at her friend. "Get your ass up there and show them all what you're made of."

"No, I couldn't." Addison shook her head and looked down.

"Go on Addi." Callie urged.

"No Cal."

"Hey Joe!" Callie called. "Addison will sing the next song!" Joe smiled and put his thumbs up, wiping a glass as he waited for the person to finish singing their song.

Once the song had finished Joe made his way to the make-shift stage and spoke into the microphone. "Our next song is going to be sang by the lovely Dr. Addison Montgomery, give her a big cheer!" Joe smiled and pointed at Addison who started to become red and slid down in her set and shook her head.

"Go on Addi!" Callie grinned and urged her friend and smiled even more as Miranda joined in as well. Callie began cheering Addison's name and everyone joined in. Addison looked around the bar sighing, before standing up and making her way to the stage as a loud cheer rang out.

"Knock 'em dead." Joe smiled at Addison before he left the stage and she stood in front of the microphone, looking out at everyone as the music began and she felt her heart flutter.

The interns sniggered as they watched Addison stand on the stage, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Cristina nudged Meredith and made a comment as they heard the music begin and they set themselves up for Addison to look a fool.

Addison took a deep breath, knowing the lyrics off by heart and not having to look at the screen where the lyrics began to appear. She opened her mouth and began to sing.

_There were nights when the wind was so cold  
That my body froze in bed  
If I just listened to it  
Right outside the window_

Everyone was shocked as they listened, her voice sounded so professional. They felt goose bumps rise on their arms as they listened to her sing so emotionally.

There were days when the sun was so cruel  
That all the tears turned to dust  
And I just knew my eyes were  
Drying up forever

Addison hadn't sung in public for years, but as soon as the first word left her mouth it just came naturally to her once more. She hadn't realised how much she had missed singing. She had enjoyed it so much during her childhood and into the early years of adulthood.

I finished crying in the instant that you left  
And I can't remember where or when or how  
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

Slowly her gaze moved through the crowd and she caught Derek staring at her like he used to. He was sat next to Meredith, his girlfriend, as she sang, his eyes on her the whole time.

But when you touch me like this  
And you hold me like that  
I just have to admit  
That it's all coming back to me  
When I touch you like this  
And I hold you like that  
It's so hard to believe but  
It's all coming back to me  
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

Addison could feel all the feelings she had tried to push away come back to her. She could remember when she had first met Derek. She could remember their first date, the first time they kissed, the first time they held hands, the first time they touched, the first time they made love. She could remember everything as she sang and looked at him.

There were moments of gold  
And there were flashes of light  
There were things I'd never do again  
But then they'd always seemed right  
There were nights of endless pleasure  
It was more than any laws allow  
Baby Baby

Derek sat next to his girlfriend and looked at his ex-wife. He shouldn't have any feelings for her anymore, except hatred right? He should only resent her for sleeping with his best friend right? He should hate her for lying to him right? He shouldn't want to hold her at night, right? She shouldn't be the one he wanted to wake up to in the mornings, it shouldn't be her red shade of hair he looked for in a crowd anymore. He shouldn't even think about her.

If I kiss you like this  
And if you whisper like that  
It was lost long ago  
But it's all coming back to me  
If you want me like this  
And if you need me like that  
It was dead long ago  
But it's all coming back to me  
It's so hard to resist  
And it's all coming back to me  
I can barely recall  
But it's all coming back to me now  
But it's all coming back

Derek stared at his ex-wife. He could remember all the time they had spent together, the good, the bad, and the in between. He could remember everything. He remembered how they would sleep at night. He could remember how he would wake before Addison just to watch her sleep. He could remember how whenever he went out with Addison anywhere, they would hold hands, stay close to each other. He could remember the smell of her hair, the feel of her skin, the sound of her laughter, her voice. Now he sat and just looked at her as she sang, the words meaning more to the both of them than they should.

There were those empty threats and hollow lies  
And whenever you tried to hurt me  
I just hurt you even worse  
And so much deeper

Meredith sat amazed as she listened to Addison sing, she was really good. She watched as Addison looked through the crowd before her gaze stopped in Meredith's direction. Meredith turned her head to find her boyfriend staring at his ex-wife, their gazes locked as she sang. Suddenly Meredith felt uncomfortable and began to realise the truth.

_  
There were hours that just went on for days  
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances  
That were lost to us forever_

But you were history with the slamming of the door  
And I made myself so strong again somehow  
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

Addison couldn't tear her gaze away from her ex-husband as she sang the words with feeling. All she could see was him, she was singing the words to him. She wanted him to know exactly how she felt. They had always been able to read each other easily, and Addison could still read him now, she could feel what he was thinking, feel what he was feeling.

_  
But if I touch you like this  
And if you kiss me like that  
It was so long ago  
But it's all coming back to me  
If you touch me like this  
And if I kiss you like that  
It was gone with the wind  
But it's all coming back to me  
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)_

Derek swallowed and continued to watch Addison, he knew that the words were directed at him. He could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice. He knew what she was feeling, what she was thinking. He knew her too well. He could tell nearly everything about her. He knew how to handle her. He knew how to make her smile, make her laugh, make her cry.

There were moments of gold  
And there were flashes of light  
There were things we'd never do again  
But then they'd always seemed right  
There were nights of endless pleasure  
It was more than all your laws allow  
Baby, Baby, Baby

Callie and Miranda watched their friend in shock. They had no idea she could sing. She was amazing. She had the feeling and the emotion to go with the song. She knew the words. She looked out into the audience, at one person. Callie followed Addison's gaze and caught who she was looking at before nudging Miranda slightly, who turned to look as well.

When you touch me like this  
And when you hold me like that  
It was gone with the wind  
But it's all coming back to me  
When you see me like this  
And when I see you like that  
Then we see what we want to see  
All coming back to me  
The flesh and the fantasies  
All coming back to me  
I can barely recall  
But it's all coming back to me now

Addison could feel the tears beginning to sting her eyes and there was no way she was going to cry in front of everyone. She wasn't about to break. She needed to stop looking at Derek. She needed to look at someone else, but, she couldn't. It was impossible.

If you forgive me all this  
If I forgive you all that  
We forgive and forget  
And it's all coming back to me  
When you see me like this  
And when I see you like that  
We see just what we want to see  
All coming back to me  
The flesh and the fantasies  
All coming back to me  
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

Derek turned his head and looked at Meredith, seeing that she had been watching him for a while. He glanced at her face, into her eyes before he began to speak.

"Meredith, I'm sorry."

"You still love her." She whispered, more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah," He nodded. "I do, it's taken me until now to realise that, but I never stopped loving her. She's my wife, my soul mate, the love of my life, she's my Ads." Derek gave Meredith a small smile and took hold of her hand, kissing her knuckle.

Meredith looked down at their hands and when she spoke her voice was soft. "You never loved me did you?"

"I though I did." He admitted. "But I was just trying to hurt Addison I guess. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them. You deserve to be happy." He cupped her face before he leaned forward and kissed her softly, kissing her goodbye.

"I should have known." Meredith looked up at him. "I should have known the moment she turned up, you never stopped loving her, you were just hurting." She shrugged. "Go. Go and get her back before it's too late." She gave a small smile and let go of his hand.

(It's all coming back to me now)  
And when you kiss me like this  
(It's all coming back to me now)  
And when I touch you like that  
(It's all coming back to me now)  
If you do it like this  
(It's all coming back to me now)  
And if we, , ,

Addison could feel the tears pooling in her eyes as she watched Derek with Meredith. She watched them talk, she watched Derek kiss Meredith tenderly, and in that moment Addison wanted to break down and cry. But instead, she tore her gaze from them and looked at Callie and Miranda who looked at her concerned.

Addison finished singing and everyone clapped and cheered, she quickly made her way off the make shift stage and fought her way through the crowd, seeing Callie and Miranda stand from their table. Addison made her way through the crowd and out of the door, into the cold night air.

She gasped as the tears began to spill down her cheeks, her breathing becoming uneven as she gasped for breath, her body shaking as she began to sob. She reached out and held onto the cold wall, trying to steady herself as her sobs became harder, her breathing even more uneven as she gasped for breath.

Addison began to hyperventilate and her hands tried to grip the walls, her breathing raspy, tears streaming down her cheeks. She began to instantly panic as she couldn't get her breath and suddenly felt two hands on her shoulders.

"Shh, take deep breathes, come on deep breaths."

The soothing tone of the voice helped her and she began to take deep breathes, slowly calming down, getting her breath back so she was breathing heavily, but tears still ran down her cheeks.

"Calm now?"

She just nodded, unable to talk, fearing what her voice would sound like in that moment.

"Good." The hands ran up and down her arms as she began to shiver from the cold. "You don't have a coat."

"I needed to get out." She whispered.

"Away from me?" Slowly Derek turned Addison in his arms so she faced him and he placed a hand on her cheek, brushing away her tears.

"Yes." Her voice was small.

"I'm sorry Ads. I really am. I broke up with Meredith. She's not the one I love, I've never loved her." Derek looked down at Addison and saw her look at him with wide eyes. "I love you. I always have, and I always will. You are my life Addison, you, no one else." He caressed her cheeks and looked down into her eyes.

"We hurt each other Derek."

"You only hurt me because I hurt you. I love you Addison so much, and I'm not going to let you go again, I'm going to fight for you, I love you." He leaned down and softly brushed his lips against hers, before kissing her tenderly and pulling her close to his body. "Give me another chance Ads, I'm going to make it up to you, I swear, I love you so much."

"I love you too Derek." Tears silently rolled down Addison's cheeks and she looked up at him.

"Don't cry." He whispered. "Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault."

Addison nodded and they kissed sweetly again.

"Let me show you how sorry I am." Derek looked into her eyes. "Let me show you how much I love you, because I have never stopped. I know it may have seemed like it, but I never have. You have always been the one for me."

Addison looked up at him. "You hurt me though, and I hurt you."

"I know." He brushed some hair from her face. "You only hurt me because I hurt you, and I am so sorry that I did. Please give us another chance. Please." He looked at her.

"I don't know Derek. I love you, I really do, but I don't know if I can go through that again." She admitted.

"I'm going to make it up to you I swear. I will do anything you want me to, and I am going to put you first always from now on. I promise you Ads. I love you, you are my wife."

"But I'm not anymore."

"You are." Derek looked at her. "You will always be my wife, I promise you."

Addison looked at him for a while. "Okay, I'll give us a second chance. I love you Derek, but I can't take being hurt again."

"I'm not going to hurt you, ever again. I promise." He ran his thumb over her cheek, wiping away the tears that had started again before he pulled her close to his body, vowing to never let her go again.


End file.
